Triggers for pol**e ra*e and more i guess



Well this is so tender and raw i am not sure i will even get to say what i intend to. I talked with my therapist (kathy) today. We were meant to be in a different meeting so didnt have long and as i got upset we had less time but

Last night i went to a meeting. Apparently while i was at it there was a tv appeal for victims of the person who attacked me to come foward. My therapist called the police and said she was a mental health worker with a traumatised patient and said the dates it happened and where and the lady put foward the case on the tv and they realised it was all the same. Kathy got the name and i confirmed it. So there is the unit set up to help, there is a police liason unit to deal with how i was treated in the past and there is a victim support unit who will support me. All good ...... but as i sat in tears with kathy tonight i just dont know if i can do it with life going on as it does. Kathys going away for two weeks and yet again my dbt therapist is steeping into her role.. but shes been told to back off so i am lost. I dont know if i can do this. My fear is not being belived kathy or the other therapist will be with me all the way. But like i said 1 , 3 am whos going to help then?

I lost my best mate this week it would appear. My gf is getting over stuff so dont know. I am so alone in this world outside of therapy (once maybe twice a week) so i dont know anymore

(((((((Sami))))))

you are soooooooon not alone!!! you have us, you have two therapists working with you, you have a gf. Remember these people. Yes, I know we cant be there every mimute....but people are there. Kathy left you in good hands, your gf may have her own problems, but let her know what is happening with you.......this is big and she will be there for you. And there is the vicitims unit to help.


and Wow this is big!!!!! I can't imagine what you are feeling now. I'm a mixture of terrified for you and very excited that you have the opportunity to do this! It will be hard, but it might bring closure.

If this is something you want and need to do.......you can do it!!! you have the supports is place, the rest is up to you and you are stronger than you think!

Take care,

let us know how it is going.

Love ya,

Hi ..... i do know im not alone take me out the stress of the moment and i do know i really do. And i thank everyone who thinks of me. I shared with gf today. I said no questions just listen so she did. I await the no end of questions when i get home today tho. I dont know what i am going to do. Will just see how it goes today

((((((((((((((((((((((Sami))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I'm so very proud of you for talking to your gf. I know how hard that was, and I think you handled it beautifully! Sure, she's going to ask questions, but it's out of love for you, not out of disrespect. It sounds like she did listen when you told her and that she really was respectful in not asking questions at that point. You needed to just get it out and you did. That's awesome!

I know you've been home for a while now and have talked to her. Just be honest with her, Sami. If you were in her shoes and vice versa, you would want that from her. She is either going to ask you questions because she cares - and you can give her as much or as little information as you can right now, so long as you are honest. If you can't give her an answer, tell her that you just can't right now. She may not ask you questions (right now)... that won't mean that she doesn't love you, but rather that she is taking it in and waiting to ask questions or for you to take the lead. Either way, it sounds like a really healthy way to deal with such a difficult situation.

Please let us know how it went, ok?

((((((((((((((((Sami))))))))))))))))))

Love ya,
Jen