VERY TRIGGERING FOR SUICIDE and pretty much everything else too



cant even write a post right. Hate me hate my life. You know im 31 i have NOTHING to show for 30 years of life. Im a hopeless waste of life LOOSER. Serious i have been ra*ed and a*used and it feels like its all i am good for. I am struggling so bad. I mean its like everyone grew up and noone waited for me and i feel trapped like i dont understand life. I get into major debt when i dont need to i want to work yet cant face a day. My benefits have taken 10 months to sort it says 21 DAYS 10 months cause im so totally crap and cant do it. Fact is i wanna die. I am so stuck on rebelling against the norms of life. I wanna die. Not i feel pain and dont really i feel obsessed by it. I was set on not living till i was 30 then when i was 30 it was time for a new start. But it didnt work it seems. I often wonder how come some people get all the help. They get admitted to hospital and get help etc. I was told its cause they want the help. I want the help too tho. I have begged and told everyone and anyone how i feel. I have tried to kill myself 5 times. Yet noone helps. Everyone knows how i feel i am totally honest. I dunno no more. I self harm to get by but then i get told if i carry on i will need surgery. I am lost. A hopless looser. I am aware others dont see me this way but its how i FEEL. Dunno dead already i must be noone can hear me enought to actually help me

Sami!!

I've read this post several times, over and over in fact since you posted it. You are in such pain. I don't want to give you the ordinary response people give, the platatudes, and 'you will be fine', 'it just takes time', etc. . .

But I don't know what to say. All I know is I can feel the overwhelming pain and suffering and despair coming from you. And I'm basicly sitting on the sidelines watching, unable to direct help your way.

I want you to know that I'm here, I'm feeling you, and I truly care what happens to you. Please dont give up your fight for help. It can be like pushing a stone up the mountain. Keep pushing your situation, feelings and pain forward, right into people's faces.

Don't forget we all care about you and what happens to you. This is truth, a fact.

I send to you the fullest, most warm and loving hugs straight from my heart

Menolly -

((((((((((((((Sami)))))))))))))))

I think alot of us feel like we haven't accomplished much in our lives. There are times that we feel worthless, useless and then just want to give up. It doesn't seem fair. We see others get help or that things get easier, yet we feel trapped and left behind. It sucks.

You, my friend are NOT a loser! We are all worth of help, care, acceptance and love. I used to see my life as " accomplishments, and when I didn't finish things or meet goals, I trashed myself. I lost sight of hope. It seemed like everything got taken away and no matter how hard I tried....people would tell me all I needed to do was try!! Ummm, what do they think I was doing?

You have helped so many people here Sami. You are truly special. I've seen you encourage other members and that makes you a priceless angel in my book. I'm sorry that you have to struggle. I'm here for you...anytime.

You day you started over at 30. Can we start over at 31 too? I think I gave up on starting a certain time and just took one day at a time. No more expectations. My life isn't perfect, nor is yours. That can never stop each of us from helping and supporting each other. Even if its just a silly hug.


I care.

((((((((((((((((Sami)))))))))))))))))) <------- a silly hug, just for you.


SillyBoyTroy

(((((((((((((Menolly)))))))))))))) Thanks
(((((((((((((((Troy)))))))))))))))))) thanks

Thanks for your kind words. I feel so stuck. It nice to know i have the love and support of the wonderful people here so ty