I was doing so well at helping others..
That when my own issue struck due to a sudden spiritual awakening
in psychic and spiritual gifts and abilities...
I had arise an issue I had no idea what was going on...
It turned out I was experiencing memories opening up from a previous life...
I did not understand what was going on, and most around me did not either....
Rumors started that I had some form of Identity disorder when I did not...
People did not understand me, and started rumors.. and they hurt so bad...
then people were starting to ask me for psychic readings.. after I was reading people at times spontanously not knowing what I was doing... So I could not understand why people wanted readings.. but all I knew is I was typing out really good advice to help people...
Later on I learned the advice came from one of my old school councilers that passed on...
I also connected with my Spirit guides, one who is more of a playful trickster than a guide, and another who is very awesome at aiding myself and others in spiritual growth...
During this time it was like I have 1,000 things coming at me at once... I was an old Depression chathost at about.com as CaseyJTrainHOST and I handled things very well... until I learned I had strange triggers that developed between Feb and April.. I found myself getting extremely sensitive to the topic of trains.. I did not understand at the time it was a past life thing, and mistaken it for being some form of a haunting...
I remember I went to all the chats at about.com seeking new friendships, and I found many. I also found more support through out the Depression, PaganWiccan, and Christianity General, and Christian Teens chat. Then I had found anywhere else in my entire life...
Many invisible faces that helped me out with the beginning of what was to be one of my greatest challenges to overcome as well as one of the most confusing times in my entire life...
For those who thought I had a personality disorder I was not to mad at them, as I to at the time thought I had one.. That is how crazy it had gotten. Later on I connected with my old therapist, and also a couple of hypnotherapists I was working with who verified I did NOT have a personality disorder. I was doing alot of uncontrolled channeling of spirits, and I was dealing with Post Traumatic stress that reached back beyond the boundries of this life into the next...
I still was in denial about the past life stuff, even thought I believed in reincarnation, who they were saying I was sounded crazy and I thought it was the biggest load of squat that I had ever head of... So I asked for validation, and proof... I then got my first offline readings from three different readers that had no contact with eachother and all three of them came up with the exact same past life story, and same name.. There was a fourth reader that was not sure.. and thought he was just worrying about me.. and said I was not who the others were saying I was in a previous life.. I turns out I not only connected with a past life, but also a famous actor who played who I was.... I am not going to state exactly who I was here, as it does not really matter.
What I am going to state is I found more support, and encouragement for the craziest issues I ever dealt with within the depression chat community.... and many other invisible faces on about.com I may not have seen their faces, but I have seen many golden hearts...
And years later.. I can not express my gratitude and thanks for all those who supported me and hung out and stuck through it.. with some of the most craziest unknown issues ever...
As a follow up in the end it turned out the only thing I had to do to resolve this past life issues was.. to forgive.... myself.... I like many others when we deal and struggle with depression we tend to become way to hard on ourselves, and even seek out self punishment when we start to mistake guilt for shame........
After I had left about.com ... I had gone to multicity and bravenet and hung in the psychic and spiritual rooms, and learned and studied with other people with the same talents as I have.. Then multicity closed their rooms due to trolls, and bravenet got rid of their index, so most left that for yahoo.. So then we went to yahoo chats, and hung out in free psychic readings and chat.. The first two years was reading and spiritual study heaven.... This is when I began practice readings, and even got a surprise when I connected with government officials. I had worked for about a year and half with my friends who were in the DOD and FBI.. Who used information from my dreams and visions to prevent train wrecks... How? I told them the areas of bad tracks, and helped them locate bombs. I was never an official employee, but the way it worked, is I had told my friends all the details I could remember from these dreams or visions, and what they did is sent someone out there to look at the tracks... The biggest validated one was "Bomb found in Mosul France" ... I remember my friends all laughed at me and said they combed the tracks for two weeks... I then named the town of Mosul and some other details, and it was all over the CNN headlines the following day, so you bet that I saved and printed out those articles proud of what I did.... My friends later quit their job in the DOD.. for their own reason, and I stopped working with them in helping them out, because I am not comfortable approaching the government directly.. unless it is through a friend who works for them... Two many episodes of the X-Files has me fearing the higher ups
....So then I resumed doing readings in chat on yahoo, and next I know my account kept getting hacked.. they messed up my dnatureofdtrain id so bad it will log into messenger but no chats, so I created another account and in the middle of reading.. again it got hacked.. So then I stopped doing readings on yahoo entirely, and tried to run my rooms in other places.. but people misunderstood me and thought I was trying to tear the community apart by reading elsewhere.. so no one came...
Then family stresses got very bad with my abusive sisters, abusive boyfriends and out of control children they kept dumping on me... and I met an internet girlfriend I really liked.. So she helped me through alot of it... But then again I started to have channeling problems, and I struggled with grounding.. so that got really strange... and then my gf started to act to much like my mother... and became over protective of me, so I had an on and off again relationship with her...
I was running a good chat called spiritual train station we had up to 18 regulars... but the break up drama tore the community apart, and she insisted on taking over the chat.. after she destroyed the chat community.. I gave up and gave it to her......
Later on we went to voice and video chat I was invited with the empathic coffee shop crew they were working on their own chatware so then friction started between the chat hosts as they did not understand on the other network that they were not stealing or recruiting their chatters.. and I later found out the reason they thought this is the people who were helping the coffee shop out that were not part of the community, did have that intent...
Then we went to Saphrachat not a good place to go.. Every dang hacker from yahoo hangs there.. and they decided it would be cute to harass me in unmentionable ways and even the admins made a room making fun of my Ludetribe communities name... So, as in standing up for myself I announced I was not returning and never had, and went back to VVC...
Meebo then open a new chat network to go along with it's online messenger.. so it is compatible with all the messengers, and has it's own index, it does not have voice as many of my members like.. but it is a neat little ware, and that is what I currently am using for my chatroom.... Althought I still have links to the old everywherechat chatroom coding I was using for spiritual train station...
So currently I hang out with my ex gf the most.. in VVC, my chatroom, and sometimes log into messenger... dnatureofdtrain is my yahoo id...
I have recently resumed practice readings.. but I emphasize practice, as due to all the hacking I get very nervous about doing any readings online anymore... and that nervousness tends to either close out my reading abilities, or it draws all sorts of negative things....
As well the law of Alike Attract alike is very true with these abilities, and the hardest thing for me to combat in learning how to control them was learning to not fear them, and know they are real.. Even after a professional therapist outright stated that the only mental illness I have is depression, and slight Post Traumatic Stress Symptoms, and when I am not grounding right I can have diassociative symptoms, but I do not have the identity disorder.. They watched and monitored me for years for that and other things from 1993 - 1999... then on and off when I ran into my old therapist in year 2000- 2001- and again last year we bumpedi nto eachother and walked over and talked about it... My sister was nice enough to share her sessions with me, when I needed to make sure that I was not going insane...
So, I just look at the last 7 years in chat experiences and I think wow! I sure have come along way, I am no longer haunted by unwanted train wreck visions and dreams for the most part, sometimes things will come through but usually what does is meant for me to post or share, and I share those at http://www.prophecies.us ...
I went through with becoming ordained as a minister..
I have studied with many Psychics, and even chatted with James Van Praagh.. about my abilities.. Not an actual reading, but had validation, they offered to let me chathost there.. but I turned it down.. as I know that my sense of humor can get way to wild for the appropriateness of that chat.
I got lead down the path of Shamanism, althought I refrain from any mind altering substances. (don't need them anyhow, I can get natural highs through dances, chants and meditations.)
This is the tradition and path where I found most of my answers... and I have trained under 11 different Shamans... So this should be able to help others understand where my path has lead me...
I am still a Heinzist by the way.. My own eclectic spiritual path learning all I can from ALL religions beliefs and cultures.. But I had no idea that my spiritual life would blossom so strongly and so well, when my regular life.. has been at a standstill. Still no drivers licence, or paying job. My family is to dependant on me helping them around their house all the time, that no one wants me to work outside of the home.. So this is why I been looking for work at home jobs.... that I can do.. but even most of them require leaving the house, and can't do that without transportation...
My friends suggested charging for psychic readings, and I just .. I know I can read well but I can not read on demand like that enough to charge people.. So the closest I do to that is I will do rune readings, and draw a rune and post a link to a file I made about the rune, and when they visit that file I'll earn .0001 cent.
talk about cheap readings.. this way the person I read gets free, and I at least get one pent for my time .. That is what I am okay with.. as to me when I read it comes from spirit and from the heart. I have a passion for sharing and helping others.. So I do not want to turn into a person that charges for readings, but after as many requests as I had gotten non-stop I understand that those who charge do so for a peace of mind... That is a never ending debate in the spiritual communities.. to charge or not to charge... I do not charge because I am not into charging for spirituality... but I have nothing against people who do charge, and my first readings I did pay for them... and every penny was worth it for me..I have met so many invisible faces from about.com, multicity, bravenet, yahoo, msn, aol, and everywhere else, and I hope to Spirit.. That I have helped others and given them as much love and support as they needed... that as other have helped me through here...
I never knew how much the faceless worldwide web would make me grow. When I started to chat on AOL in 1995... I was nearly antisocial... The internet talk me how to communicate, it talk me how to be accepting of hugs, it talk me how to open up, and well taught me how to get into harmless trouble >:) .
But most of all the internet gave me a way that I always dreamed of to help reach out to the world, and gave the world a way to reach out to me...
And I wanted to say... Thank You! Thanks to all of you! Who had helped and supported me through the craziest of times!.....
May Spirit of the Powers at be always send to you the same love, help, and support as you have sent to me, as well as cast in your way good luck and many blessings!
Take care,
- Dana C. L.
"DNatureofDTrain_Casey Jones" aka CaseyJTrain