What is it that makes us the way we are? Paranoid, anxious, hallucinatory… are these merely symptoms of a sickness we barely comprehend? Or is it something more?

Why is it that we are thought the odd or strange? Because we’re in the minority? Why is it that society has to be set up in a way that immediately brands us as people who need to be fixed? Why is there no real place for us in this world?

Have we been placed on this earth by mistake? You know what I mean… that chill running down your spine as you look at those around you and see nothing but death… almost as if you’re a visiting spirit, trapped on a plane of existence you don’t belong. I know many of you have this feeling. Being exposed to it day after day, leaves you feeling dead… you look into a mirror and the light that was once there in your eyes is now faded away.

Why have I done nothing but ask questions?

Because sometimes questions can provide more truth than answers ever could. There are no answers to some questions, only a bottomless pit for you to waste time delving your mind into. And one of those is our purpose here.

There is no answer.

Or maybe there is… maybe that’s what some of us are experiencing. A moment of fright, a feeling that something in your life isn’t right, hearing voices… could they be gentle brushes of an answer? Maybe inaudible whispers from God into our ear?

Everyone jumps to the conclusion that we’re sick… and maybe we are. But does anyone stop to think that perhaps we are something rare and very useful to the human race. Dickens, Andersen, Cobain, Van Gogh, Newton, Poe, Hemingway… some of the greatest and most creative minds in existence suffered from similar situations as ourselves… yet look at what we’ve gained through their birthing pains.

Are we sick? Or are we merely different? Should we be so quick to jump at an opportunity to deafen ourselves to the voices or deaden our sensitivity? Are we robbing ourselves and the world of something great in an attempt to ease our pain?

It’s possible… but it might not be worth finding out. Sometimes, all one can do is run from such a thing, and no one could blame you for doing so.

(((((Meh))))) Profound...lots to think about. Thanks!

Nothing like the fun of delving deep into the human thought process!

All things considered, soceity will always be judging of others to compair and see if they fit in.
Its all too easy to feel like the square peg in a world of round holes. I don't have the freedom of alot of so called 'normal people'. Anxiety and depression afflict me in ways they can not comprehend. I'm not one to hope to get on a soap box and gather acceptance from my peers. If they can't accept me or understand that I do in fact have difficulties in life, tough cookies for them. I'm not some alien spawn ( others may tend to disagree ) I am a human being and I have a disorder or two. Does it matter to Me? No! I accept that fact, and because of the problems I have, I have discovered a much greater appreciation for life and everything around me. I thank God for rewarding me with my anxiety because it has opened my eyes to life! I've been humbled countless times, and with it comes knowledge and wisdom. Soceity is a group of people compairing and trampling each other for the sake of how they look or what they obtain. They don't look in the mirror the way I do. They'll never see the sunset or the stars the way I can. I am special, just as you are too. I can feel others pains and have a 6th sense into the rhelms of thier minds. I'm not a fortune teller, nor do I go out of my way to place myself above anyone. I'm just me. I may not fit into this world they way others "appear"
to, but I have carved out my own little nitch. I'm not Joe Average. I'm not stupid, nor am I oblivious to what goes on around me. Soceity grows more ignorant by the day. There may be 'stars ' on TV letting on that they too have mental illness, but its nothing more than a flash in the pan. Rosie hanging upside down on an inversion table is not going to get my friend to understand that mental illness is common and just another thing in life. I deal with it, struggle with it, and try to stay productive. I spend my weekends showing my Daughter how to enjoy life and just be herself. To enjoy life. Stress is what soceity seems to thrive on. They love when mistakes are made so they can feel better about themselves.

I have 'fear' in my life. Its ok for me to say " I'm scared " Yet the things I'm scared of, I can't touch, feel or see. The power of the human mind is awesome. We are at the top of the food chain because we think too much! We've become too picky and unsatasfied with everything life has to offer. Instead, we nit pick, whine and complain. Grab a newspaper and try to find 2-3 positive stories. Its easy to find the negative stuff. If a bus drives off a cliff, soceity thrives on the news. If children something spectacular, they get a pat on the head, if they are lucky. We have the joys of computers, yet people struggle to create viruses to destroy them. If I make a happy go lucky post, it will get a few views. If I made a post on how my life has been destroyed, my marrage failed, lost my job, house blew up, dog got run over.....hey! now thats news! People become interested. Now we can compair notes on just how unfair life is...lol The world loves gossip and failure. I don't spead gossip, and when I hear of a friends failure, I reward them with reassurance. Not out of pity, or to get the feeling...I'm ok. Its just who I am. I'm different. Mental illness intertwined with my personality have blended to make me...me.
My motto is " I may be part of soceity, but I refuse to let soceity be part of me." Just because my nieghbor has a shiney new car doesn't make me want one. It only means he has to work more to pay another bill. My aspect on life in general is different than most people. I seek out serenity in life. I have a wonderful child and a girlfriend whom I'll marry. She has two sons that I adore. Because of mental illness, those people are in my life. Anxiety helped to fuel my divorce, and because of it, I have a closer relationship with my daughter. I made the best of the worst. Some days, I don't like the reflection in the mirror. It drives me to only try and improve myself. Not for others, but for me. If I better myself, others around me reap the rewards just as I do. If they are driven away because of them, thats thier loss, not mine. Life starts with one....Me. After me is my family. If i don't take care of me, they inturn lose out of a better man.

Theres a smile on my face, love in my heart, laughter in my voice and warmth in my soul. Why? Because I find ways to place it there. Life is too short to dwell on the unfairness in the world. I was taught to offer a hand to those in need. I had to learn to accept a hand when it is offered. Too many people trip over thier pride and thier ego. To me, the greatest human need is appreciation. When given, its returned ten fold. I gave up being too critical of myself. I don't chase answers where none are hidden. This is my life. How I act and react to whats around me is my choice. There will be setbacks, there will be successes. The family that my love of my life and I are creating won't change the world, but it will create a home filled with understanding, forgivness, appreciation, comfort and love. We'll journey through life together and we will find our path to freedom.

ok, so I went on a tangent and had fun...lol

Just my two cents!

SillyBoyTroy