WHY WOMEN STAY IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS?
The one question everyone generally asks of victims/survivors of domestic abuse is: "Why do/did you stay in an abusive relationship?"
REASON 1 - I'M STILL HOPEFUL!
I love my partner.
The good far outweighs the bad.
My partner is in counseling and changing in positive ways.
I believe the control (or violence) is not really my partner's true nature.
I have a special bond with my partner that I'll never find with anyone else.
I believe I can help my partner.
I refuse to fail.
I want my relationship to be the way it used to be. The abuse is not so bad.
REASON 2 - I'M AFRAID OF MY PARTNER!
I'm afraid he'll get custody of the kids or kidnap them.
I'm afraid he'll hurt the kids or other people.
I'm afraid he'll track me down no matter where I go.
I'm scared to act; anything I do might make it worse.
He'll attack or kill me if I try to leave.
He'll commit suicide if I leave, and I couldn't live with that.
REASON 3 - I'M AFRAID OF BEING ALONE!
I'm afraid of being alone, at least I'm used to this life with my partner.
I don't want to have to raise my kids alone.
I'll never find anyone better out there. He's the best I can do.
I've lost my confidence and feel mentally beaten down.
I don't think I can make it on my own.
I need him.
I can't see living by myself.
It's too dangerous.
REASON 4 - I'M AFRAID I CAN'T MAKE IT FINANCIALLY!
I'm terrified of being poor and I will be, at least for a while, if I leave.
I can't find housing I can afford.
I'll never get a decent job.
I'm scared I won't be able to support my kids and maybe I'll lose them.
I'm terrified I'll end up homeless, or a bag lady.
REASON 5 - I'M STAYING HERE FOR MY CHILDREN!
He loves the kids so much and is so good to them that I can't take them away from him.
I don't want to ruin my kids' future and deprive them of nice things or a good education.
I want my children to have a father. They need a role model.
My kids need a disciplinarian.
My father left us when I was a child, and I vowed this would never happen to my children.
I know it's not good for my kids to see him treat me this way, but the alternatives - like leaving - seem worse for them.
If I leave him, he'll get the children away from me somehow.
REASON 6 - I'M BOUND BY MY SENSE OF RESPONSIBILTY!
I owe it to him: he stuck with me through hard times. A good wife stands by her man.
I vowed we would never be a divorce statistic. I refuse to give up.
I can't bear the responsibility for the relationship failing.
He needs me. He'll fall apart or kill himself if I leave him.
I'm not so easy to live with either. The responsibility for this is mine, too.
I will never break my marriage vows. They were given to God.
I can't leave him -- he's not well.
I support him -- he needs me.
REASON 7 - I'M STILL IN THE PROCESS OF MAKING A CHOICE OR PLAN!
I need more time to save money or finish school.
I'm watching and evaluating: is he changing?
I still have not found the help I need to leave.
I'm trying to stop the abuse but keep the relationship.
WHY DO YOU STAY???????????? OR WHY DID YOU?????????????