I feel like I'm losing it. I'm scared and I feel all alone. I'm married with three kids. A 10 year old step daughter, 5 year old son, and a four month old daughter. Everyone thinks that its pps, but it has nothing to do with the baby.


Growing up, I had a very abusive father, and a mother who didn't care avout anything but herself. She left when I was 12, And I finally left dad when I was 17. One beating too many. I lived in my car for a bit. Finally I had to call my mom for help.

I moved in with her at got a full time job, part time job, and college part time. Not good enough for her. It has been 8 years since she has been a part of my lifew and nothing has changed. So I met a guy and moved in with him just to get away from my mother. 8 1/2 years later we're still together.

Everyone is always so mad at me. A majority of the time, I do nothing wrong. To this day my mother still cares about herself. She always calls when she needs me to watch my niece, but never to check on my children. She treats me like I'm shit. I just want to write her off. But I can't.

I'm finally talking to my father again. He has gotten alot of help and has apologized for the past. I love him, but I still don't think that I can trust him. Maybe to a point.

Then there is my husband. I knew he had a drinking problem when we got together. It was bad. No he has never hit me. Over time he got better. When I got pregnant with my son, it kind of got bad again. But we got over that.

In comes his sister. We will call her Queen Bitch. She has told me over and over that she didn't beleive that we should get married. Her brother had a drinking problem. She told me that I was lucky to have my son, and that he had an older sister. She said that it would be a mistake to have more kids. When I asked both of his sisters to be in our wedding, they said no. When I was pregnant with my daughter, Queen Bitch said that she was not looking forward to this baby. When she was born, Queen Bitch wasn't there. But still I took it with a grsain of salt.

Now things are really bad. My husband is drinking alot again. He is not physically abusive, but he is not the same loving man I married. His sister has a major influence in his life. She is always down talking me always. She wants Rob to divorce me, and to take the kids. She says that I would never pass a psych exam and no judge would give me my children.

I love my children. I am a wonderful mother. They are my life. On halloween I asked my husband not to drink. He did then went boo ooing to his sister. She called me and told me that I was a bitch and a cunt and that I treat my husband like shit. She said so much more and I'm still very hurt by it. So I try to tell this to my husband, and he says that he understands, but blows me off. Four days later she invites us to her house for a no kid night. Why would I go there after what she said? So my husband left.

Everything was fine when he left. But sister dearest had him drinking. I think that is her way of controlling him. But yet she will say he has a drinking problem. I called to tell him our son was sick. His sister had her kids there, and other people and still made me feel like shit and I wasn't talking to her!! Anyways he came home at 12:45 the next afternoon.

He won't listen to how I feel. If he does we fight. I am his wife. I would never ask him to totally choose between us, but the asshole could stick up fpr me every now and then. I'm so confused. He loves me then he is pissed at me and talks divorce. I'm having a very hard time finding a job. I'm always home with no friends really.

How are we going to get through the holidays? I'm so tired. I just don't want to do this anymore. There is so much more going on, just no more time left to type it out. Sorry this is so long. I just quit. I'm so pissed, I feel consumed with nothing but anger. I'm done.

This sounds very much like me and my husband in the beginning.
I left my husband before he was my husband and moved out because of his drinking and drug use. He had a nasty habit of cheating on me when he was drunk and high and I have enough. He decided to come back but I demanded sobriety. We still fight about drinking but not as much.
I hate his family. Hate isn't a strong enough word really. I was overjoyed when his mother died. I refuse to speak to anyone else in his family but his dad and his step sister and I rarely let them see my children. Obvously me husband and I had several fights over this, and in the end went to marriage couciling. This is what he said
"One day your mother will be dead and you will be left with your wife and kids. They will be the ones you live with every day...so who would you rather be mad at you?"
We had a "You dont listen to me" problem as well. I finally told him, I just want to be heard and for you to have enough respect for me to really care about what I have to say. That helped, though he still gets hard headed.
What you have to decide is whether this is the life you want. And if it isn't can your husband give you the life you want. Is he willing? Don't assume, ask him. Calmy and objectivly. Tell him you aren't happy and you want to be. That you love him and want a happy life for you and your kids. Will he try to give it to you? Then you need to do some toxic purging. You have a lot of toxic ppl in your life and it will do nothing for you. Your mom is a hard one, but you might have to do it. My husband had the same problem. Then I got lucky and she died....but that is another post. You need to decided what you need to do for YOU. And ask your husband if he wants to come a long for the ride.