I am a person who has had a crash course over the past 3 years in the understanding of abuse. I have learned it through Aisha, the woman I love and also from other friends who have been hurt. I try to write in a way that brings hope to others. By no means do I attempt to brag that it can be done, or that all is just ducky. Nor, do I imply that the things I write are too personal for others to read, feeling as though they are intruding upon my personal life. If anything, abuse is on the cusp of the soul when it comes to being personal. I only can hope that anyone who has been abused can relate, or be encouraged to seek the freedom they desparatly crave. Aisha and I have a future together. Its something we have struggled to achieve and we shall reap the rewards in the coming year. "A Picket Fence Fortress" was written in reply to Aishas poem of "Triggers". I chose to keep it separated so as not to take away from the power instilled in it. The idea being that as an abused person, a fortress of bricks is built, and shuts out life. With Aisha moving 3000 miles away to a house in the country, with a little white picket fence. The bricks will be transformed from a wall that protects, to one that paves a path to a home that rebuilds a life for herself and her children.

SillyBoyTroy






Picket Fence Fortress

Bewildered by the memories of the past
Some a lifetime will mingle and dance
A mear word or look snares entangling emotions
House so haunted by a paranoid man
Using his strength to dismantle
Rebuilding is futile, as distruction rumbles forth
The clock looms over an overcast mind
Domination unleashed from love
A hand meant for holding, hitting
A beautiful mind destroyed
Bricks constructed a fortress
Blocking of visions of hate
Name calling, so mean and cruel
Screamed to insult and dimise
Down trodden for the last time
Bound by the strings of control
Trapped within a rhelm of abuse
Reaching down deep, opening a window of hope
Casting light upon his ways, telling the world
Control all but crumbles
Set before you, a chalk board
Upon it every memory, good and bad
Each day, a struggling swipe erases more
Washing it clean with tears
Each tear that falls teaches Me more
Swimming in the tears of your pain
Escape now has appeared in the palm of your hand
Unfurled, exposing it to him
Last ditch efforts of control, fail
Like a fisherman, I bait what was his
I quietly open a door, where He slamed one shut
Holding the hand of a child trying to be like him
The child sees the freedom his mother craves
Words so vile are replaced
Happiness, understanding, love, compassion
The bitter taste that soured everything
Washed away and replaced with sweetness
Giving me a gift, one red brick
A part of the fortress you built
Never shall steal one away, but you give
Promising to build you a brick pathway
Leading to freedom and serenity
Finding comfort behind a white picket fence
A home, an ocean shore, a new begining
Hope restored, happiness rewarded
Surrounded by greenery of the coutryside
Each day rebuilding the fragile lives destroyed
A craving satasfied, security of a future