Triggers
Written By Aisha
So much pain I see in the past,
Wishing this trigger to be my last.
Triggers of a life left behind,
Yet still they find ways right into my mind.
Triggers of horror and emotional hell,
Of physical beatings I remember so well.
Simple words from out of the blue,
People who speak and haven’t a clue.
Unaware of their hypnotic spell,
Like Pavlov’s theory and a dog with a bell.
Over and over, triggers galore,
Finding me in a corner upon a cold floor.
A few words as simple as “Be a good girl,”
The meaning as priceless as a flawless pearl.
So many definitions found to my dismay,
Are opposite in meaning in a malicious way.
For “good girl,” means whore, or bitch if preferred,
And “Come here,” means fuck you, with a slug I have learned.
“What time is it?” means I have been with a man,
Breaking my vows, as only I can.
“Get the fuck out!” means you’d better not leave,
You must fix things and do things, my mind did conceive.
“Do you know who you’re talking to?” means back away,
Being pinned against a door, I know I will pay.
“Oh, so you think so,” means catching a pan,
one left in the oven burning my hand.
So many reminders of a past that I chose,
With no control over my body, it froze.
Repetition in my mind of a single thought,
Feeling completely guilty of being caught.
Of remembering the past, as long as it’s been,
To forget somehow, is considered a sin.
There has to be hope that my mind will find peace,
Finding serenity, my triggers will cease.
For in the future a new life does wait,
No more will I come home to a house full of hate.
My mind holds a dream that I pray becomes real,
These triggers will stop, and I will finally heal.
A life of love, and promise, and hope,
No more will I fall on a downward slope.
For this new life that waits, may be only a dream,
To trust and believe is like a balance beam.
A leap, a challenge, I am willing to take,
To create a new family, perhaps it is fate.
I will one day be happy, “depression be gone!”
I will get up with a smile at the crack of dawn.
Good-bye to the triggers and memories I hate,
My past I will erase, a new life, a new slate.
Written By Aisha
So much pain I see in the past,
Wishing this trigger to be my last.
Triggers of a life left behind,
Yet still they find ways right into my mind.
Triggers of horror and emotional hell,
Of physical beatings I remember so well.
Simple words from out of the blue,
People who speak and haven’t a clue.
Unaware of their hypnotic spell,
Like Pavlov’s theory and a dog with a bell.
Over and over, triggers galore,
Finding me in a corner upon a cold floor.
A few words as simple as “Be a good girl,”
The meaning as priceless as a flawless pearl.
So many definitions found to my dismay,
Are opposite in meaning in a malicious way.
For “good girl,” means whore, or bitch if preferred,
And “Come here,” means fuck you, with a slug I have learned.
“What time is it?” means I have been with a man,
Breaking my vows, as only I can.
“Get the fuck out!” means you’d better not leave,
You must fix things and do things, my mind did conceive.
“Do you know who you’re talking to?” means back away,
Being pinned against a door, I know I will pay.
“Oh, so you think so,” means catching a pan,
one left in the oven burning my hand.
So many reminders of a past that I chose,
With no control over my body, it froze.
Repetition in my mind of a single thought,
Feeling completely guilty of being caught.
Of remembering the past, as long as it’s been,
To forget somehow, is considered a sin.
There has to be hope that my mind will find peace,
Finding serenity, my triggers will cease.
For in the future a new life does wait,
No more will I come home to a house full of hate.
My mind holds a dream that I pray becomes real,
These triggers will stop, and I will finally heal.
A life of love, and promise, and hope,
No more will I fall on a downward slope.
For this new life that waits, may be only a dream,
To trust and believe is like a balance beam.
A leap, a challenge, I am willing to take,
To create a new family, perhaps it is fate.
I will one day be happy, “depression be gone!”
I will get up with a smile at the crack of dawn.
Good-bye to the triggers and memories I hate,
My past I will erase, a new life, a new slate.