They say you can't judge a person until you walk a mile in thier shoes. I don't care to try and judge anyone in my life, but for the sake of a catchy title, I'll work with it!


I am a man, unabused, nor have I been an abuser. Then again, I've been verbally and emotionally battered in my day. I choose to put that aside right now and look at physical abuse. I will spend a long time understanding and learning about abuse. The woman I truely love knows abuse all too well. I will never fully understand each and every perception, and its long lasting impact. I've always been a person who can feel another persons emotional pain. I could place myself in thier shoes. But, with abuse, its more of a glass slipper. Each and every situation is different, as is each and every person who is abused. I may try to walk a mile in thier shoes to try and understand, but its not a shoe, but a glass slipper that shatters so easily. I take a step to understand, and things crumble. I become perplexed and must stop and look at every shard and sliver of broken glass. Abuse is a difficult puzzle. Rebuilding that slipper so I can take one more step into the world of understanding. Again, shattered. Its not that I'm stupid or slow to learn, but to feel that I can perceive what has happened to someone, there is no way I can just waltz around in thier shoes and 'get it'. I've written many posts and poems to Aisha in the past 3 years, and at times she sees how I'm working on understanding, working on what it takes understand. I will walk that mile. It will take me a very long time.
I will come full circle and hand that glass slipper back to my Darling. As she looks into my eyes and sees that I do understand, that I do get it. Together we will build a life together. One of trust , happiness and abright future. Triggers will be a part of OUR life. Memories will be there too. We will paint a new picture, new memories. I do not wish to paint OVER the past. I much rather paint a better picture. By doing so, I don't hide the past, nor do I ever expect it to go away. Her eyes will be drawn away from the past containing so much pain, to the picture beside it screaming with serenity. I'm going to be forever learning.
One day at a time.....one step at a time.

How beautifully put. You truly are a special person.

((((((((((((((troy))))))))))))))) Gosh you are a beautiful writer! Whatever the topic you write so well and i just wanted you to know that. Your love and support for your girl is inspiring and something i feel priveledged to see. The life the two of you are building and sharing has an amazing foundation of love and support,

love,

flossy

That's beautiful Troy, and oh so true.

Thanks for sharing

sue
xxxx

I cannot put into words what I need to say to you... I don't think I need to right now. Thank you.

Looking back at this post, one I wrote a few months ago was brought back to the surface today......

Aisha just left here after a wonderful 2 week vacation. I came home from the airport to find a box sitting upon my pillow. A gift?

Anxiety climbed as I picked up the box.....feeling its wieght. Gently, i placed it back upon my bed, and took off the bow. I opened it to find a mushy card, a brick, and OMG a glass slipper. I instantly thought of this thread. Tears streamed down my face. The glass slipper, so precious, so delicate.

Puzzled, I looked at the red brick. ( granted, I just dropped Aisha off at the airport, and my brain was a bit clouded) Thanks to a phone call to her, the light bulb came on...duh!

Aisha and I had always talked of how abuse leads a person to build a fortress around themselves so they can never be hurt again. To never let someone in...protection. I told Aisha a long time ago I would never tear down her fortress, I would never take away a brick, instead, slowly, she would hand them to me. Well, there it sat in the box. Aisha gave me a brick. It may sound silly, or maybe strange. But, by taking an emotional feeling, an emotional safegaurd, and changing it into something touchable... Wow!

Abuse is something so horrific, so wrong. A few more steps were taken in the glass slipper. A little more has been learned. I have a long way to go, and its a journey I am determined to make.

I told Aisha, I'm going to find a spot to place my little red brick..... there will be more. Instead of a fortress, I'll build a path of red bricks to happiness. One step at a time. One day at a time.

SillyBoyTroy

Awww! That is so sweet!