[LThomas]

October 23rd 2009 - my daughter was in a car accident whereby the car in which she was a passenger plummeted off of a bridge 20 feet down into a river ... river was dry but she was the one who was thrown against the windscreen and got two fractures on her right pelvis ... she had to be put on COMPLETE bedrest and learned how to walk all over again while I obviously took the time off of work to nurse her back to health

December 26th 2009 - Friends' mom (friends I grew up with since I was 5 years old) got a massive heart attack while at church 6 pm that evening and died upon arrival at Westshore Medical Hospital.

December 31st 2009 - between 26th to this date was helping organize the funeral by getting the artwork for the programmes done at my office and printed in time. ... This funeral session was first thing in the morning but turned out to be an all day event at the home of the deceased.

January 25th 2010 - two days after my birthday my cousin was murdered at his HOME for what at the start people speculated was a robbery attempt ... however it seems that it may not have been a robbery attempt but a direct hit on him .. reason still unknown to us.

Following that ... I forget the date ... another friend's dad passed away ... I really COULD NOT make it to yet another funeral I just couldn't ... had to pull back

March 5th 2010 - the 40 days prayers for my murdered cousin ... that was okay HOWEVER it bought back all the previous nights immediately following the murder sort of like 'reopening wounds' for want of a better description

March 7th 2010 - My daughter Sabrina turned 17 years old

March 8th 2010 (last night) - Sabrina tells me that she's pregnant ... AT 17 YEARS OLD

March 9th 2010 (today) - I find out that the boy's mother is not pleased ... okay understandable but WE ALL make mistakes and the kids have found themselves in a situation now and they need our help to help them as PARENTS so I really don't have the energy to listen to an adult whine about the situation right now ... I will do what I have to do and see fit for both Sabrina and Alex (her bf) to help them out any which way I can

so ... where does my anxiety take me and how to deal? how much more to take? while the world isn't ending I'm exhausted of having literally to deal.

I just needed to vent it out .... if you've reached this far ... wow!

xxx Lisa xxx

[Yeti]

LT,

vent all you want. we care about how you are doing.

Yeti

[Elsbeth]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Lisa)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Oh my goodnes hon, I know how rough his past bit of time has been on you. And that the stress has built up. Like you need anymore to stress over.

I know right now you may feel terrible but one thing hat stands out. The rest of the sressers have been grief related. Death related. Near miss related. As untimely as it is, this is not death related, it is a LIFE! Not what anyone needs to be dealing with right now but still, it is not another loss, it will in several years be a gain. I hope you can seperate the deaths from the new lives.

I'm so sorry you and Sabrina are going through this right now. Wow. 17. Wow.

Please let is know if there is anything we can do or feel free to use this site as a venting or sounding board. We are here for you and I know you now how to find me if you need some one on one time.

Good luck as you embark on this adventure and best health for Sabrina and her unborn one.

Luv and Hugs,

[Beagle]

(((Lisa)))))
well, you hit what every mother of daughters worries about! (mother's of sons too I guess but it's not quite the same) So I feel for you, I really do. :hugs:

You asked how to deal...so here goes.

1) focus on Sabrina and her needs (and her child) It's sad that your friends parents have passed away but get past that...it's a part of life) Your cousin of course you will mourn, but there's nothing you can do about it now

2) Focus on Sabrina. You need to work through your anxiety when you are dealing with her needs (fall apart later )
How's her health? After the accident is she able to deal with a pregnancy? Is she keeping the pregnancy? She and her bf have a lot to figure out....they are close to being adults....adult enough to make a baby....now they have to be adult and deal with it.

3) Focus on Sabrina....dont worry about his parents. Is she pleased? Are they serious? will they make a life together? Will this bring her closer to you?

Post in a few days when you have had more time and know more. There could be a very happy side to this.

and, I am sorry about the situation. I hope all turns out well.

[LThomas]

Thanks

I'm actually surprisingly not feeling terrible and I'm already viewing the birth of my grandchild (OMG I just said the word .. gotta get used to it lol) as one which is a celebration of life

My mother actually was quite calm with the news too ... maybe it's cause my baby niece just turned one who knows?

I'm just tired inside of my head if that makes any sense really

xxx Lisa xxx

[LThomas]

oh and I forgot .. somewhere in that mix an Uncle who resides in Cayman Islands passed away

xxx Lisa xxx

[LThomas]

Beagle, on 09 March 2010 - 05:21 PM, said:

(((Lisa)))))
well, you hit what every mother of daughters worries about! (mother's of sons too I guess but it's not quite the same) So I feel for you, I really do. :hugs:

You asked how to deal...so here goes.

1) focus on Sabrina and her needs (and her child) It's sad that your friends parents have passed away but get past that...it's a part of life) Your cousin of course you will mourn, but there's nothing you can do about it now

2) Focus on Sabrina. You need to work through your anxiety when you are dealing with her needs (fall apart later )
How's her health? After the accident is she able to deal with a pregnancy? Is she keeping the pregnancy? She and her bf have a lot to figure out....they are close to being adults....adult enough to make a baby....now they have to be adult and deal with it.

3) Focus on Sabrina....dont worry about his parents. Is she pleased? Are they serious? will they make a life together? Will this bring her closer to you?

Post in a few days when you have had more time and know more. There could be a very happy side to this.

and, I am sorry about the situation. I hope all turns out well.

yeppers Sabrina and Alex are both my main focus right now ... they both need me cause really they both have been quite good for each other and need the guidance

We have a series of up 'n coming doctor visits lined up to determine how safe this pregnancy will be for her and to how far along she will be able to carry it cause she MAY have to be on some bedrest as she gets bigger

It will also have to be determined how the delivery will be, be it natural or c-section

I have already made arrangements for her to have the baby at POS General Hospital here cause they have the best medical team and equipment here in Trinidad.

I'm not devastated ... just a bit overwhelmed and I guess the only reason I'm overwhelmed is cause of Alex's parents but I guess they are entitled to their feelings ... hopefully they wise up soon that now is not the time to play martyr and be parents cause while he may not ask for it he does need their love and support right now more than ever

xxx Lisa xxx

[JenB]

Wow (((((Lisa)))))

The past 6-ish months have been hard on you! I have another friend who just wants to sleep through 2010...

You've been SO strong through it all and I want to commend you for that

I agree with what everyone has said, so I won't most of it.

While you do need to mourn your losses, Sabrina's pregnancy (while it may not be in your/her timing) can be a time of blessing and bringing a new life into this world. I'm glad you're going to a doctor to have her checked out after the accident and injuries she sustained to see about carrying the baby to term. Ok, unexpected and not in your plans, but some surprises are a blessing.

Jen

[TexanHoney]

(((((((((((((LT))))))))))))))))))))
Hang in there hun. And I agree with everyone else... focus on Sabrina. If Alex's mom wants to try and whine and make this about her, fine, but that doesn't mean you have to listen to it. If Alex is not getting the emotional support at homer he needs, you may need to step up for him a little bit too. Good luck.

[Sami]

(((((((((((Lisa))))))))))) sorry you are having such a hard time. Death is horrid and you have put up with so much of it. Sabrina pregnant at 17 ()just) ek. How does she feel about it?

[Menolly]

WOW, I can only read these posts of your life right now Lisa, and be amazed. You are so awesome. You have had way too many things literally thrown in your face and you are still standing. You give me encouragement. I know you are so overwhelmed, maybe even feeling overcome. My heart hurts so much for the things causing so much pain and even anguish.

Just see what I see. A strong woman, dealing with more than a person should have to, yet still standing tall. You encourage me, give me hope.

Biggesstttt Huuggggerrrrrrrrrrsssssssssss in the world

Menollly -

[LThomas]

Menolly, on 11 March 2010 - 06:11 PM, said:

WOW, I can only read these posts of your life right now Lisa, and be amazed. You are so awesome. You have had way too many things literally thrown in your face and you are still standing. You give me encouragement. I know you are so overwhelmed, maybe even feeling overcome. My heart hurts so much for the things causing so much pain and even anguish.

Just see what I see. A strong woman, dealing with more than a person should have to, yet still standing tall. You encourage me, give me hope.

Biggesstttt Huuggggerrrrrrrrrrsssssssssss in the world

Menollly -

Thanks again all ... and Menolly thank you too ... at times like this we just gotta do the best we can you know?

I am doing okay right now though the last two days I feel myself slipping down depressionwise but that's okay ... I'm chalking it up to maybe I might just be exhausted for now and that too is okay because this Sunday(or Monday depending on what day my salary goes into my bank account) I'm heading to Balandra Beach Resort right here in Trinidad for 7 NIGHTS until Easter Sunday so wooooo hooooo I'm looking forward to my little getaway

It will be me, Adam and then Sabrina and her bf will come up to join us for the Easter weekend (hopefully) ... if they don't come up then it will just be me and Adam but that's okay cause we will have fun anyway no matter what and relax ... I just need the QUIET TIME I think to crochet some stuff, maybe embroider some items for the baby and just read ... I bought a lot of new books recently and I will take them all to just sit and read and refocus myself.

Unfortunately I won't have access to the internet but that in itself may not be such a bad thing ... that thing called Facebook is a wee bit addicting and sometimes I do get triggered by things that I wish I didn't read KWIM?

xxx Lisa xxx

[LThomas]

oh and when we return from Balandra ... we have a doctor's appointment scheduled on April 8th by a doctor and she might have an ultrasound done then.

xxx Lisa xxx

[LThomas]

Lil update on the bridge ...

We had to pass the bridge which the car in which Sabrina was in went down on October 23rd

Good News ... they have FINALLY put up PROPER strong rails along BOTH sides of the bridge ... there were several accidents prior to my daughter's and then their own was actually the worst out of the whole lot so the bridge is now up to hopefully prevent any more cars from going down.

I would have taken pics but my camera was packed in my bag in the trunk sorry.

xxx Lisa xxx

[JenB]

It's rotten that it took Sabrina's accident for them to finally wake up and open fix the darn bridge, but I'm glad it's safe now!